| Division: |
Reg |
| Captains: |
Chad
Sweigart, Caelie McCormick |
| Team Colors: |
Platinum & Navy |
| Team Mascot: |
Sexual Napalm |
| Team Beer: |
"You can't be picky when you're $100,000 in debt
and have no current job prospects." |
| Team Song: |
"Miami" - Will Smoth |
| Distance to Charlottesville, VA: |
205 Miles
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| Star Players: |
"LF -
Christiaan Segura - he's a silky smooth Ivy League graduate that hits
like Mays and runs like Hayes.
P
- J. Ryan Ferry - the Ricky Vaughn of softball minus the heater and
cool haircut. He still tosses a nasty eliminator though.
SS - Matt Westover - He's pretty good defensively when his ego doesn't
get in the way of grounders. See, e.g., Roger Dorn.
OF - Chuck Murphy - Hits the fastball better than Pedro Cerrano." |
| Law Review Nerds: |
"All the
smart kids in the school play for the other Penn State teams." |
| Team's History: |
"Two
years ago we had a solid 2-2 first day before getting rained out for
our Sunday game.
Last
year we sailed through pod play with an unblemished 3-0 record.
In the playoffs we took home a hard fought forfeit win before
falling to eventual champion Coastal Carolina, which quite possibly may
have had some players associating with Yuri Sucart.
This year we
return all but one starter and replace our power hitting third baseman
by adding 2L and UVA Tournament veteran Matt Hracho, who should slide
nicely into the second spot in the Platinum lineup." |
| Want to Play Against: |
"1.
Florida State Victorious Secret
2. Ohio Northern ONU-Tang Clan
3. UPenn Drunken Goats
The awful name pod." |
| DON'T Want to Play Against: |
"UVA Gold
- everyone knows platinum is the far superior precious metal." |
| Favorite Thing About the Tournament: |
"Our
girlfriends let us hang out with undergrad girls for the weekend." |
| The Tournament Would Be Better If: |
"...we
had to play less softball." |
| Anything Else?: |
"We may
not be good, but we will be the best dressed team at UVA this year." |
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| Analysts' Take: |
Whoa,
don't sell yourselves short, Platinum. We know you've got
skills
with all those veterans coming back this year. Perhaps your
problem is sizing up your opponents before you face them. If
you
did that, you'd at least know that that team you lost to that
eventually won it all last year was Florida Coastal, not Coastal
Carolina.
It might not matter, in the end. If you're
headed down to Charlottesville hoping to play fewer rather than more
games, you probably don't deserve to win. |
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