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Columbia
Men's Varsity
New York,
New York Pod Games:
vs. Duquesne Reg @ Sat 8am, PVCC 1
vs. Penn State Platinum @ Sat 11am, Park 1
vs. Vanderbilt Webers @ Sat 7pm, PVCC 1
| Division: |
Reg |
| Captains: |
Seth
"Bad Attitude" Niedermayer, Andrew "Faceman" Wolstan, and Sam "Howling
Mad" Rosenbaum |
| Team Colors: |
"Black & Columbia Blue, in that order" |
| Team Mascot: |
Brian "Nats Hat" Morgenstern |
| Team Beer: |
"Whatever's free. No, seriously." |
| Team Song: |
"'99
Problems' by Jay-Z (Get it? Because we're a men's team?
No?)" |
| Distance to Charlottesville, VA: |
351 Miles
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| Roster: |
Kahlil
Williams (2L, P)
Brian Morgenstern (3L, C)
Ted Platt (3L, 1B)
Pietro Signoracci (3L, 2B)
Mark Doerr (3L, 3B)
Seth Niedermayer (3L, SS)
Sam Rosenbaum (3L, LF)
Colin Calvert (3L, LCF)
Andrew Wolstan (3L, RCF)
Adam Katz (3L, RF)
Brook Sutton (1L, OF)
Kevin Begley (1L, OF) |
| Star Players: |
"Brian
Morgenstern is a star because of his unparalleled ability to play at a
high level despite being unfathomably hungover. Ted Platt is
a
star because of his complete detachment from what the rest of us
consider "reality." Colin Calvert is a star, plain and simple." |
| Law Review Nerds: |
"One.
What a loser." |
| Team's History: |
"All
but three of us have played in the Tournament before. Last
year,
we beat Duke and Penn State and tied Rutgers-Camden on Saturday; then
beat Rutgers-Newark (by forfeit) and Georgetown before losing to
Washington & Lee.
Two years ago, we beat Michigan and
Iowa and lost to UVA Gold (obviously) on Saturday; then we were sent
home on Sunday without getting a chance to play because of heavy rain
(not that we're bitter)." |
| Practice Regimen: |
"We
sittin' here, we're supposed to be the franchise players, and we in
here talkin' about practice. We mean, listen, we talkin'
about
practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game; we talkin'
about
practice. Not a game, not the game that we go out there and
die
for and play every game like it's our last. Not the game.
We talkin' about practice, man. We mean, how silly
is that?
We talkin' about practice. We know we're supposed
to be
there, we know we're supposed to lead by example, we know that.
And we're not shoving it aside, ya know, like it don't mean
anything. We know it's important. We do, we
honestly do.
But we talkin' about practice, man. What are we
talkin'
about? PRACTICE?? We talkin' about practice, man! .
. . How
the hell can we make our teammates better by practicing?!?!" |
| Want to Play Against: |
"Iowa's
team was a pretty good group of guys. They brought a big flag
and showed up to the game drunk." |
| DON'T Want to Play Against: |
"UVA Gold. Easiest question to answer on
this entire questionnaire." |
| Favorite Thing About the Tournament: |
"It gives
us a chance to relive our glory days of many, many years ago by
pretending that this softball crap actually matters." |
| The Tournament Would Be Better If: |
"...none
of our players had their noses broken by a safety on the UVA football
team (this actually happened two years ago)." |
| Anything Else?: |
"Could you even process any more information if we
gave it to you? Look at how much we've written already, it's
ridiculous." |
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| Analysts' Take: |
This
team is the real deal. We remember them well from last year.
They had hot jet black jerseys, an arsenal of top-of-the-line
bats, and they crushed the ball as well as anyone (well, maybe not as
well as Florida Coastal). We were actually surprised to see
them
get knocked out by W&L in the round of eight. A year
later,
we trust they've grown their 3L guts for that extra man power.
Anything short of the final four for these gents will be a
disappointment. |
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