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Ave Maria
Reg
Naples,
Florida Pod Games:
vs. Ohio Northern ONU-Tang Clan @ Sat 9am, Darden Towe 2
vs. Rutgers-Camden A @
Sat 1pm, PVCC 1
vs. Columbia Men's 1Ls @
Sat 4pm, Darden Towe 1
| Division: |
Reg |
| Captains: |
Brian
Mortenson |
| Team Colors: |
Navy & Vegas Gold |
| Team Mascot: |
"Jared Allen and his mohawk mullet" |
| Team Beer: |
"Nice Sweet Appletini...with a little plastic
sword (more manly)" |
| Team Song: |
"Goodbye Horses" - Q. Lazzarus |
| Distance to Charlottesville, VA: |
1040 Miles
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| Roster: |
1B Brian
Mortenson (Mort) - 3L
2B Sean Flynn (Mr. President) - 2L
3B Craig Lockett - 2L
SS Tim Gerrish - 1L
P Nick Buttry (Buttery) - 2L
C Tom Cummings - 2L
LF/IF Zac McElroy (Mac) - 1L
LC Sam Ruyle - 1L
RC/IF Steve Adams - 1L
RF Roy Seter (G-Thang) - 2L
1B/3B James Inman - 1L
C Ben Donovan (Groundhog) - 1L
OF Charles Vasicek (Chucky) - 2L
OF John Mahoney - 1L
OF Joe Paravecchia (JoPa) - 1L |
| Star Players: |
"Gerrish:
nobody can keep a glove 4 inches off the ground like he can.
Mort: Impacts the game with his silence, so much so you'd think he's
mute.
Buttery: You've never seen a pitcher bounce back from giving up 6
consecutive walks like he can.
Groundhog: Most triples in softball history, and the ball has yet to go
past the pitcher.
JoPa: His power can be compared to a very young Barry Bonds.
Flynn: Hits so good that he'll sell you a BarBri course before the ball
lands.
Cummings:
Being our first call up from the co-ed team, his scouting abilities
have informed us what teams have the best looking girls to watch during
breaks.
Mahoney: Pitches so well that we put him in the outfield to give you
all a chance at hitting the ball.
Lockett: King of the o'le...won't risk defacing his property for a case
of the stiffs.
G-Thang: Resident lifeguard given the duty of resuscitating the bats,
and the girls after they see him run.
MAC: If there was a 'Hitting-Line-Drives-in-the-Shortstop's-Glove'
Derby...he'd win.
Sam: Thinks playing outfield is so easy that he hits his fly balls to
the infield.
Chucky: Great addition to the team, he makes every game he shows up to,
problem is getting him to show up so he is there.
Inman: Like a gazelle in the outfield, he runs from anything that comes
near him.
Steve: Will leave every game with a grass stain, even if the ball is
never hit to him." |
| Law Review Nerds: |
"Two:
Mort and Buttery...we don't let them talk about it during softball." |
| Team's History: |
"Dude...last
year in the home run derby one of our hitters hit 9 home runs on his
last out, including hitting a bus, a teammate's Jeep, and a person up
by the road...WHAT MORE NEEDS TO BE SAID!!!
We look to make history, not retell the past!" |
| Practice Regimen: |
"'If
I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't
about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about
practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise
player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting
here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but
we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die
for and play every game like it's my last but we're talking about
practice man. How silly is that?
Now I know that I'm supposed to
lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it
don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're
talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. (laughter
from the media crowd) We're talking about practice. We're talking about
practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about
practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen
me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're
talking about practice right now. (more laughter)' ~~Think Allen
Iverson said it best~~" |
| Want to Play Against: |
"For the
competition:
Florida Coastal
Virginia Gold
Wash & Lee
Because transferring doesn't come without punishment:
Ohio Northern (Sach you know you want to play us too)
Florida State (they know why)
...And all Ivy League schools...so we can beat them in the rankings in
something." |
| DON'T Want to Play Against: |
"Penn
State: Because they don't like the crust...and to think, we were going
to share some pizza with them." |
| Favorite Thing About the Tournament: |
"Where
else can you see over a thousand book nerds in one place all trying to
act like world class athletes...knowing that Monday everyone will be
limping, moaning, and groaning on their way back into class and the
library...back to being only a book nerd....
Our
favorite part about this tournament is the teams that are there.
The teams and the mutual respect you see out there make this
one
of the best weekends of the year. Frequently you will see
different schools cheering for each other on Saturday, only to meet in
heated battle on Sunday.
Hey Florida Coastal...we're hoping to see you guys Sunday."
|
| The Tournament Would Be Better If: |
"...it
was double elimination in bracket play. Just move the top two
teams on to Sunday and play it double elimination...it could happen." |
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| Analysts' Take: |
Our
new favorite team. What guts. What daring.
What
balls. Way to call out your enemies, honor your friends, and
challenge your opponents. If these paragraphs don't fire you
up
for the tournament, you probably should just stay home. |
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