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rank (last week)

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1 (5)

VaSE

3-0

Players for the Sports & Entertainment Journal handed the Law Reviewers their first loss in week four with an overwhelming offensive performance, bringing their total runs scored count to 69 in three games this season.  Contributing to that total was a 3-point field goal scored by VaSE's third baseman when he tossed a cleanly-fielded ground ball high through the uprights along the first base fence.  GOAL!

2 (2)

Hoo Tang Clan

4-0

Congratulations H, you've proven that you don't need the beat stick of your meat stick PA to score on the softball field.  Yet, your blatant disregard for safety, tact, and sportsmanship by sliding spikes up into Section D's girl fielders (twice) leaves no doubt about your prospects of scoring outside of Copeley.

3 (9)

Kamikaze

3-1

Kamikaze held on by a thread to beat Section E in week four.  Be careful with that early lead, Section K.  At one point you find yourself with a comfortable six-run advantage.  Next thing you know, you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend.  Aaaanyway, you get the idea.  Alright.  Nice win.  Good talk.  See you out there.

4 (1)

Schmalzbach Surprise

3-1

Overrated?  Maybe.  But we love the spirit that the ex-Nerd Herd brings to the diamond.  Apparently, sitting in an office all day editing dry legal prose = Excessive exuberance when exposed to sunlight and people.  And we've got to believe that your recent decline in prestige versus peer institutions' law reviews has something to do with the hours or work undoubtedly devoted to designing and ordering your uniforms.  Dorks after our own hearts.

5 (4)

El Facial Challenge

3-1

Tough loss this week for the members of Section E, who spent much of their game against Kamikaze shaking their heads at our umpire on balls and strikes calls.  El Facial Challenge finally adjusted and put up a five spot against Section K, but it was too little, too late.  Kinda like when they tried to change the name of their team so that it would start with the letter "E."  Everyone remember that?

6 (31)

Jedi Softball Team

0-4

To the surprise of many, Jedi Softball Team jumps 25 spots in the week four rankings to #6, after losing convincingly (again) in a game they were never really in the running to win.  More importantly, these foreigners are quickly becoming our favorite team to watch on the field.  To illustrate:  one of their players did a cartwheel down the third base line en route to home for one of their six runs in their game against the Jacksons.  The LLMs' final game of the regular season is on Friday against Kamikaze, and you better believe we are gonna be in attendance.

7 (6)

Law and Business Review

2-0

Did Not Play This Week.

8 (7)

Cannibals

2-0

Did Not Play This Week.

9 (11)

Shaw-ty's Little Law Review

2-0

Did Not Play This Week.

10 (3)

Force Majeure

3-1

And then there was one.  Section F lost this week to the Comrades, leaving Hoo Tang Clan as the only remaining undefeated section and the official team to beat amongst the 1Ls.  Hey Section F, we know this was your first experience actually losing a game, but that doesn't mean your guys have carte blanche to act like babies on the field.  If you need to take some lessons on sportsmanship, just let us know, and we'll set you up with some of the LLMs.

11 (29)

"I" of the Tiger

2-2

That's the way, Section I, we knew you had it in ya.  Two huge wins against Big Boppers and T-Pain and you are right back in the pack.  And you know what, even if it turns out that softball isn't your thing, we know that the Libel Show scouts were checking you guys out at Dandelion, so maybe there will be a future for you in theater.  Of course, everyone knows the show is going to suck this year...so on second thought, better start filling out those Dillard Fellow applications.

12 (19)

Comrades

2-2

HUGE win, C.  Twenty-two runs against the Force is quite an accomplishment.  We're still not sure how you lost to Section G, though.  In any case, thanks for keeping us guessing.  Formulating the brackets for the 1L tournament is going to be confusing.

13 (26)

Newman's Own

1-1

Big game for the Ptown alums this week, who scored exactly 17 more runs this time around than in their prior outing.  What a difference it makes when you have your 'good' roster available.

14 (15)

The Jacksons

2-2

What happened to the losers that got blown out 30-5 in the first two weeks?  The Jacksons have held their opponents to three and six runs in their most recent two wins, respectively.  Just so everyone knows: if Section J finishes the regular season with a winning record, one of their PAs has promised to swallow a live goldfish.  Let's make it happen, Jacksons.

15 (10)

Tenacious D

2-2

Section D hasn't shown much tenacity against the top ranked teams, falling to both El Facial Challenge and, in Week 4, Hoo Tang Clan.  We're predicting that they dispose of T-Pain easily this week and go into the playoffs above .500.

16 (18)

T-Pain

2-2

We love to see double headers, so you gotta give T-Pain props for blocking off two hours on Friday for some good times out on Copeley.  After splitting the games, the transfers are still even on the season.

17 (12)

Chalk

1-0

Did Not Play This Week.

18 (8)

Big Boppers

2-2

What happened, B?  We thought you were the real deal, but, just like that time we swore to our friends that Ashton Kutcher was going to be the heartthrob of the 00s, we were waaaaaay off the mark.

19 (36)

Federalist Society

1-1

Big jump in the rankings this week for Federalist Society, who is suddenly 1-0 in games it hasn't forfeited.  We suspect that progess that Obama's health plan has seen in recent weeks is responsible for riling these staunchies up.  Actually, we have no idea what is going on in politics right now.  We're too busy watching softball games.

20 (13)

Bascom's Follies

1-1

Not the 1L tournament champs we remember from a year ago.

21 (25)

Gus

1-1

The GUS squad didn't get their first win until week four, and it was by forfeit.  My, how far they've fallen....

22 (14)

Andro

1-1

Did Not Play This Week.

23 (16)

Gophers

1-1

Did Not Play This Week.

24 (30)

The A Team

1-3

More like The C Team!  (Up top!)  Just kidding.  Nice win.

25 (17)

J C Superstars

1-2

J C Superstars lost this week to a team that had not played a game all season, had previously forfeited to a team that had not played a game all season, and who also wears tighty whiteys to school.  On the other hand, J C Superstars did score 4 runs in the game.  So, that's good.

26 (23)

Baby Carrot and the Cabbage Patch Kids

1-2

Did Not Play This Week.

27 (20)

L Diablo

1-3

L Terrible.

28 (21)

Gunners

1-3

While the Comrades were out tearing up previously undefeated Force Majeure, the Gunners, who once beat the Comrades, were getting housed by the ho-hum transfers.  Apparently baked goods and Capri Suns can only take you so far.

29 (24)

Redcoats

0-2

Chose their team name appropriately.

30 (27)

VJILantes

0-1

Did Not Play This Week.

31 (28)

Emotional Distress

0-2

Did Not Play This Week.

32 (22)

Stone Cold Sober

1-2

Don't forget to report your score to uvalawsoftball@gmail.com when your team wins a game.  Gotta keep this machine chugging along.  No time for stragglers.

33 (32)

Law Christian Fellowship

0-2

Did Not Play This Week.

34 (33)

Junta

0-3

Did Not Play This Week.

35 (34)

Gun Show

1-0

Did Not Play This Week.

36 (35)

Journal of Law and Politics

0-0

Did Not Play This Week, Or Any Other Week For That Matter.

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1 (2)

Legal Center and School

3-0

LCS takes over the top spot from Wet Dream Team with a win over Warriors 2 in week four.  As for the future, these guys are taking a week off from pounding the competition on Copeley field.  They've got their two biggest games during the make up week, though, against Suhey's and fellow undefeated squad Wet Dream Team.

2 (1)

Wet Dream Team

3-0

Did Not Play This Week.

3 (4)

Mosvick

2-1

Down 2-1 to the Hooligans in the bottom of the 7th, Nick strode to the plate for his 30th at bat of the game.  In a bizarre move for such an important situation, Mosvick, a natural righty, chose to bat left-handed.  He proceeded to smash the ball to right field for a 2-RBI walk-off hit, winning the game 3-2.  He is a truly great player.

4 (8)

Dream Team

2-1

A bizarre strike zone kept Dream Team and its week four opponent, Danny's Stepdads, guessing at the plate, but it didn't keep them from hitting.  Dream Team outlasted the Stepdads' power and earned a 17-15 victory in a thriller.  Tempers ran high throughout the battle as both Dream Team's pitcher and the Stepdad's captain got in heated arguments with our ump over ball-strike calls.  Said the ump after the game, "I came in expecting to throw someone out today.  But when those boys got mad they were just too cute, I couldn't do it."

5 (9)

Warriors 1

2-2

Nice win, Warriors 1.  We've gotta believe you're better than your predecessors.  Sorry you had to inherit their losing record.  Don't get smug quite yet, though.  You're up against Suhey's Stepdads this week.

6 (3)

Suhey's Stepdads

1-1

Did Not Play This Week.

7 (6)

Danny's Stepdads

1-1

Danny's boys knocked about a dozen limbs off the big tree at Copeley with all their bombs to deep left.  Still, they couldn't overcome the wishy-washy Dream Team, who brought some offense to the game as well.  Callbacks may be wrapping up, gentlemen, but you've yet to earn your spot amongst the reg. division elite.  Be like Dass and hit those weights.

8 (5)

Warriors 2

1-2

Way to show your mettle against top dog LCS, W2s.  You lost, but, like all good warriors, you fought till the bitter end.  See what kind of cred a solid team name gets you?  If you were the Lollipop Guild, we'd probably be talking about how you still suck.

9 (7)

Lollipop Guild

1-1

Did Not Play This Week.

10 (10)

Ten

0-1

Did Not Play This Week.

11 (11)

Playing Hardball

0-2

Perhaps these Darden newbies should depart from their namesake and start playing softball, because right now it's not working.

12 (12)

Hooligans

0-4

Luckily for the Hooligans, every team in the Reg Division makes the playoffs.

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1 (1)

Better Name Pending

2-0

Did Not Play This Week.

2 (2)

Fiduciary Bags

0-2

Did Not Play This Week.